February 2012
iggymarauder:
pizzopaps:
ezios-vitals:
...
ethertune:
I don’t take breaks from homework to go on the computer; I take breaks from the computer to do my homework.
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
A 3 months pregnant woman falls into a deep coma....
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine. Luckily, your brother named them for you.
Woman: Oh no, not my brother! He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?
Doctor: Denise.
Woman: Well it isn't so bad, and what did he call the boy?
Doctor: Denephew.
California weather.
Morning: HOLY SHIT its freezing.
Afternoon: Who the fuck set the earth on fire.
